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Stephan Osterburg, DreamWorks/PDI, TD, October 9, 2000
Dos and Don'ts in US Meetings
"It is better to remain quiet and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt." (Anonymous)
Martin was next up to be promoted to supervisor of his group, however,
the signals he was getting from his co-workers let him know that they
were not ready to work for him. He walked away from every meeting with
a sinking feeling - he just didn't know what was going wrong .
Here are some guidelines we worked out:
Dont come reeking of smoke and dont walk out of meetings to light up a cigarette. No one wants to sit next to a human ashtray.
Use the meetings to get to know your co-workers.
Ask about personal interests, remember the answers and use them to connect again at the next meeting. This is a social protocol in the US and its also a way to establish real ties.
Let speakers in the meeting speak freely about their new ideas
Dont jump on them or imply that the message is stupid. Listen.
Americans value time, so stick to the issues on the agenda
Avoid personal confrontations
However, if an argument is unavoidable, use "I "messages . Not "you made a mistake", but, "how did we go wrong?"
Group consensus building in the US is highly valued
The process at meetings here is often slow and can take a long time - at least for Europeans. Patience is a must.
Dont interrupt - this is really looked down on
Dont tell foreign jokes, they dont work in translation
Understand how to use US phrases when communicating
There is a definite language used in corporate meetings. People are concerned about getting a buy-in from employees. Use sentences such as:
Let me be sure that I understood what you just said
If I heard you correctly
It seems to me .I think ..
Dont win an argument
On that topic Lord Chesterfield said to his son, Be wiser than other people if you can, but do not tell them so." Even if you think yours is the right way, beware; or, as the Boston Transcript put it many years ago
Here lies the body of William Jay
Who died maintaining his right of way
He was right, dead right, as he sped along,
But hes just as dead as if he were wrong.
If you have any more ideas, please contact me.